The power of saying No!!

Sep 30, 2011 by Misty 6 Comments

I know I do, and many of you do as well, that when we find ourselves in a place of anger for another, it is that we are really angry at ourselves. That many we interact with, are merely just expressions of ourselves in a passing moment.(mirror for us to see who we are from the inside out)

For some of these interactions it is for us to view our anger as deep embedded issues that would continue to take root in us, if there wasnt someone there to excavate them. I look at these moments to bring me clarity. To better understand myself, and to determine what it is teaching me.

The universe in it’s a constant expression verbalizing a message through others to us, helps us to clear away the cob webs of old belief systems to embrace the re-birth of ourselves. We can heed this message by accepting responsibility of what we are infusing, or simply continue to play the blame game.

We all have a choice. That is the beauty and the downfall of free will.

When I teach classes about the art of manifestation, I not only teach about what we create, but also what we un-create. The  universe seeking to be in constant balance weaves a set of energy dynamics to create what it is that we desire, and what we don’t. This so we can live out our lessons, use up our karma to evolve to the next stage feeling more connected, while standing in our truth.

What is our truth? Well this is relative is it not?  Because our truth, just like the universe is in a constant unfolding to reveal the un-truth of who we are, and what we are of how we bear the vulnerability of accepting this.

Our truth that we once lived by can merely be a lie waiting to be exposed and created into something else.

Again this is the beauty, and the ugliness, rolled up in one-act, where suddenly we began to understand what we once was vibrating with, to find that it no longer resonates.. This is one of those Aha moments.. One that can be so riveting, that it takes shape in many forms of our lives creating new energy dynamics in us and around us to build a new existence.

I have often seen this in an attunement of Reiki; the subtle energy at play builds up like a busting volcano. And what once was a happy complacent home suddenly becomes a prison, one in which our spirit wishes to flee from, changing all dynamics of relationships..

I think the hardest part for all of us is to honor this development when it happens and to not cling to our old ways which has brought us security and nurturing. After all I’m sure if we accept enough we can see that even being a slave has its perks as we never have to worry about going hungry, or fending for ourselves.

These are those moments where we have to determine to honor someone elses truth, or our own. Where without even being able to verbalize as words have such limited expression, that it is not a matter of compromise to build a bridge for others, but the bridge that you build in yourself.

Yes we cannot see the acts of others in view of diminishing ourselves. However once accustomed to not being a slave you will not so freely act as one. Meaning that yes we can’t get caught up in insults or demeaning acts of behavior to cause us to question ourselves, but we can however choose not to be a slave.

And we do this by simply making that bold statement of no..

No, it is simply not in me to give of myself in that way. No it is simply not a matter of your feelings, but my own truth in which I must live by. The love for myself

How incredibly difficult it is for us to do this and use this word, because it stirs those innocent moment’s when we were once children being denied of our cookie. Somehow as our parents reiterated the word “No” to us, we felt our own act of discovery and Independence stolen as if we were being bullied by a higher power.

Yet how many times did our parents save our lives by telling us “No” we can’t play in the street, or use a knife, to unscrew the cap off the glue bottle? No it in its natural suggestion, is a means of love. (this is what we need to recognize)

The problem becomes when we don’t say no for fear that by saying it, we wont be loved (fear of not being accepted)

We feel by saying this word no, that we have cut ourselves and others in some way. Just like the way we felt when we were once a child taking orders by the higher command so to speak.

And because we all want to be loved, we refrain from saying no to receive the love from others by “saying yes” Sometimes even at the expense of sacrificing ourselves.

 

By not saying no, we are denying ourselves and others from the truth, and in fact creating a lie.

A lie that gets stuck deep and not knowing how to change it..

This is where it becomes an internal gauge, where we must weigh not only the consequences of others, but the consequences of ourselves, by creating or blocking something that is coming to the surface for purpose to learn our lessons. To let go of the guilt or the shame without placing blame.

This is a hard-line to walk. Not an easy one at all, and we all do our best in it from the current moment we are standing in. .

 

For we must love ourselves, in our ability of being able to say no, as much as we say yes.

And love ourselves enough to have the ability to say no.

We need to only understand our intent of why we would say no

No I don’t want to help you, because it is not in me to give. No I don’t want to spend Thanksgiving with your parents, because secretly they are plotting our break up..  When we look at our intent, and see it from a place of love,then the word no is only an extension of love without guilt.

Why do we become angry, because someone says no?

Why do we become angry by having to say it?

Is it because truly we really know ourselves but when embracing another truth,we see the conflict of our own. Thus creating questions in ourselves, we don’t want to answer.

So really anytime one gets angry by the word No.. It is not so much as they feel denied by someone as much as they don’t want to question themselves of why they are being denied yes.

Keeping this in mind as again we are all mirrors,serving as a reflection to others. It would stand to reason that in saying “no” we are indeed helping another individual grow as well as ourselves in balanced emotion.

Knowing this.. We now see No, as not a block but yet another way to open the flow from the truth in which we speak, and taking actions in this fundamental truth of our being. We are then clear of what it is that we want, and are co-creating with the universe.

So the next time you are moved to say Yes just to appease someone else at the sacrifice of yourself you may want to look at how much you do this.

And then ask yourself the lie you have created in yourself by being untruthful with what you truly want by the portrayal of your actions. It can mean the difference in co-creating the love of your life, the dream job, house, or any other desire you have blocked in your perpetuated lie.

Much love for everyone.  May the truth of your own being always shine forth..

Misty