With these steps I am walking

When on the path, you do not know, for it is the judge who is being lost.  Too many when finding their way to the ideas of what spirituality possesses, asks the question “Am I on my path” And truly the answer is there is no path before you, except the one you are walking. How do I raise my frequency? By not posing the question, that your frequency is somehow lower. Spirituality is very much like everything else, a great guideline, but not to be taken in its absolute form. For one day you will need to know what it means to be kind, and in the next un-kind so as to excavate bigger truths, sometimes hidden in the glossed over expectations we have of ourselves and others. It also means you have to be willing to un-learn what it is you have learned. For no idea no matter how truthful it is in the moment, is meant to stay the same. The essence of god, is to be of many faces, shapes and forms, structured in every dynamic of our life.

 The art of simplicity, is not an easy task, as we as human beings need to analyze, even what it is we are analyzing. Perhaps a different direction should be formed. Such as, instead of asking Am I on my path? Ask the question that is internalized

Does this feel like my path? 

 If the answer you receive is no, then take steps to making it your own.

First do not see yourself as being on the wrong path, as all paths lead to the same place. But ask yourself what is missing in the equation, for this to not feel like the path you want.  This will bring you to bigger truths, then to simply dismiss the steps you are taking as less or more; all steps have equal measure.  And most importantly, always always have enough compassion for yourself to know each step you have taken, has brought you to each and every moment, that has defined who you are, and who you are not.  If you are ok with that, then you are on the path. The path connected to the divine. For the divine does not judge you, nor see you as less than.  When on the path, you love yourself no matter what trivial non loving act you have judged in yourself . You see everything as a way to define, and un-define yourself. You live in a place of knowing who you are, and feeling connected with everything, regardless of where it is resonating. Low frequency, high frequency serves us, just in a different way.

But do not think, that in knowing yourself is less difficult than to not. For you still have to live in a world with people who know themselves in ways that you do not, and vice versa. This is apart of the lessons unfolding. Knowing yourself can be perceived as arrogant, ego driven, and selfish to some viewers. This is where you must learn how to filter what is yours and what is not, from the heart. If anger is provoked, then recognize a chord has been struck, and when a chord has been played, just like the melody of music it has a tone for the heart to hear. Listen to the music. If you listen well enough you will hear the same chords being played within everyone. For most of the time we are all speaking the same thing, but only have limited expression of words, that often hinders the intent in which we communicate from. All of us want to be heard, known, and loved. In our acts of loving ourselves, regardless if it is seen or heard, we raise our frequency unbeknownst to the watching eyes of our ego.

When on the path, we do not know, for it is the judge being lost.. You will not ask the question is this my path, am I or is he or she vibrating at the same frequency as I am.. It will not matter.. For you will be only walking the steps to have any time to notice.  And even then if you do notice, still it will not matter, cause you will not have time to judge.. And even if you do judge. Trust for that every moment you judged someone else, it was because of something you judged in yourself. Creating yet another compassionate doorway in which to walk through loving yourself a bit more, once the truth is accepted. Its being harsh enough with yourself to employ deeper acts of love, as the truth prevails.  And when you do not know, sit in the un-knowing a bit. For nothing teaches us greater acts of humility then to be in a place of darkness, expanding upon nothingness.

Much love to all

Misty Dawn

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (explanation)

Too often when we write a blog, we hope that in doing so it will resonate with others in the same way it resonates with the author who writes it. As with everything you write, everyone is open to individual perception, of the meaning behind the words, or the message being conveyed. In my post Ding Dong the Witch is Dead, I was using the parody of life, in how we view certain character roles, such as a witch, munchkins, and great wizards to be evil, innocent, and all-knowing.

Yet as it is portrayed in the Wizard of Oz, the Wizard isn’t all-knowing at all, but is in comparison to innocent little munchkin folks who populate the Land of Oz. You see the breakdown happening, as Dorothy reveals the man behind the curtain to be just an innocent fragile man, much like herself.  To me this movie examined the human psyche, as we see ourselves to be in all roles being played. And the land of Oz is just a mind trip in which to travel, revealing we do not have to travel far to find home. “There is no place like home”

 Home for me being the ultimate surrender, when we trust that in clicking our heels a few times, we find ourselves safe in our warm beds. Or home in a spiritual way, is finding our way back to the bosom of god itself, in a place of trust and acceptance. Sometimes to do so, we have to travel distant lands, which is the equivalence of many lessons, to learn how to let go, and just be. For to be we all take for granted, seeing it as an act of laziness, or lack of motivation to triumph some great un-known force we do not even know what name to give it.  I call it ourselves..

As a result of this post, I received various messages, emails, and chats, in which to discuss the blog. Some received it, and others wanted to read into it, using the tone of the post to nudge at my own psyche. In the post I spoke in great detail about a young boy who died of cancer. A young boy whom had a significant impact on me, because of his great act of surrender to death. When first diagnosed with cancer, I performed a healing on him, in which I was told to back off. Now even when making that comment, I have to reiterate that when I say I performed a healing on him, I mean to say the universe acting through me to do so. I do not own it, as I am fully aware I CANNOT HEAL ANYONE..  But as a human being, it was difficult to surmise what the energy was really telling me, is that this young boy knew or had accepted he would die. And that I being privy to this energy information, was to do nothing but to set back and watch as the story unfolded. Nothing was so clear to me, as it was that day, when laying hands upon this boy. The message was this boy will not die today, and he will heal from the first time of cancer, but he will get it again three times stronger, and will die.. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Now I am aware, by simply writing this, many would say why even bother if you know yourself, and your intent. Because this blog was of great importance to me. This whole experience taught me how to truly surrender. Not just talk about it, or write it on some status, as a goal I wanted to reach. But it was real for me. And I wanted others to know, how free I feel, and the too can feel, when you just let go. And maybe in my last post, my words had too many metaphorical symbols for it to be perceived in such a way. That in my ability to be witty, could have also been why the message was lost.

 For two years i carried the knowledge knowing he would die. And hoping that I was wrong, questioning myself as an intuitive.

I did not write this blog, to demonstrate my talents, or to say I am some specially talented individual far beyond anyone else. I need to make that clear. Ego was no were involved in this scenario. For ego would have surely wanted to dive in, and save this little boy from its apparent circumstances. But ego did need to understand in a spiritual way, why such things were laid before it.  Of course when saying this I do not draw the line of what is ego or spirit, cause I am very aware each one has an equal part in what we do in this world, and needs to be so, so as to understand the boundaries, and our limitations, as being the lesson, that spirit wants to know, or experience.  I do not in any way feel responsible or guilty for this young mans death. For me to think so, gives me power than god itself, and I am fully aware the only power I have, is the power that is given to me. (god acting through me)

Being that I am an open book and have written many blogs, and notes about my childhood, many wanted to draw their conclusions from this place as well. Focusing on how the pain of this child, was  reflection of my own painful childhood. I do not refute this in any way. For why would it not. To me this is so painfully obvious, as anytime a child is in pain, be it through abuse, or a debilitating disease, there is always those memories that flood my brain passages.  I do not think that it is meant for such things not to effect us, because it is a daily diary of our internal awakening.  But even so, in the end, I was still able to separate the two, recognizing that yes this child is me( as in the one) but the lesson unfolding effects many, other than myself.

When I wrote the blog, it was to demonstrate how each and every one of us, are being called to the test. An internal test of how we see ourselves to be, and what role we play. Also that the universe is pushing us out of our comfort zones, so as to be anywhere else than just ego driven, accumulating more and more things, or power. My power, was in my act of having no power. The power to understand, to relate, sympathize, and to do nothing, but let the waves carry me wherever they may.  As far as being the witch.. I see myself in this role, as the one who is aware of the truth unfolding, but also must take the role of the munchkins, innocent and fresh full of life. As the wizard, I know nothing, except what the circumstances of the universe thrusts me in. I couldn’t give that little boy a second chance in life, nor could I give a scarecrow a brain, or a tin man a heart. But I am able to be apart of the steps in the journey,and that is the surrender. That is the power.. It has little to do with ego, as ego itself is just me, a person in flesh.

Just thought i would make that clear..

Much love to all

Misty

Ding dong the witch is dead

The unmistakable high-pitched voices of the munchkins chimes in my head like a broken record forever playing with a subliminal message, that has long since been discovered, EVEN BEFORE I KNEW MYSELF TO BE THE WITCH I LOVE TO HATE, AND HATE TO LOVE.

 Every time I feel a clearing happening in my life, I revert back to the memory of the shrinking legs curling under the house, as all the wee little people celebrate the passing of the “evil one” thinking  to myself which role am I?  Or when the lifting of the veil reveals not a mysterious powerful wizard, but a mere mortal man behind the curtain, empowering me with my own un-certainty, and clarity. Almost like living in a moment of two emotions clashing. Laughter through tears, or Tears through happiness.

Ding dong the “Witch” is dead, in the land of Oz; also known as Misty’s head..

And even though The Land of  Oz may so seem far away. In reality it’s only a few steps away from a long short cliff, known as the bus of insanity..

Suddenly it dawns on me.. We aint in KANSAS ANYMORE DOROTHY

These statements cant be any more true, then it is today. I have watched as the energy, literally is reshaped into something else on a dime. Like an angel turning into a demon, into a swan, and back into nothingness, as if it never existed.  As if its presence alone, regardless of its face, was its meaning, and need not be understood in any other way. My human eyes and senses can barely keep up, almost like I am watching a movie in fast motion, seeing only glimpses, and translating it to feeling,  as the universe foreshadows the next chapter

 At times it feels like the un-certainty of not knowing can  be so consuming, and at other times, it feels as if it the bridge to something more powerful. I have always had this feeling even as a child, that the breadcrumbs were everywhere to lead me back home.  But now I don’t even look for the breadcrumbs, they come to me, and the breadcrumbs arent crumbs anymore. They are big oversized loaves of bread being thrown at me from some unknown force, screaming “get the picture”

As of lately nothing gets by me.. I know when things are about to change, and what’s going to happen before it does. I can feel it brewing, its is the ethers.  Just when I’m about to dismiss it as something as trivial as fear or paranoia, the universe steps in and validates this feeling with a message, either in  full-blown R.E.M. sleep or in a day-dream, wide awake. Well as wide awake as I can possibly be, without having one step in another world, that is. Literally what message I receive today, shows up in my life in a tangible way in the next. Such as how I was standing in the massage room, thinking how the manager of seven years would never leave this place, unless she was to move to another state, and lo and behold, three days later, it gets announced during a meeting, that in fact she is moving to Texas.  The Greeks did say “Paranoia is ony Heightened Perception”

I feel invincible, and humbled at the same time, as if I am merely just a current of waves, riding against rock and stone. That it matters not what opposes me, or can be feasibly seen as good or bad, but that I am just the wave of water.

“Be like Water”   Bruce Lee coined the phrase, and its suggestion is more relevant to me now, than it ever was. For to be like water, seemed like an impossibility, very much like the Reiki Principles of Today do not be angry.. Yeah right, good luck with that one.. It’s a principle for a reason, something we want to reach, but it remains always superior to us, because the impossibility of reaching it isn’t realistic.

 I feel like spirituality at the heart of it, is very much like “Sesame Street” its great to learn from it, but eventually we need more than just the basic principles. That yes there must be a basis, but even that core base, must be disturbed. Today I spoke with my Reiki Master for many hours, as we always do with our weekly phone calls, recounting some of the strange dynamics we encounter on a daily basis. And her consensus was the same as mine. She has felt many obstacles come upon her, even feeling at times, that her physical endurance will not keep up with the emotional. Watching change after change occur in her life, and being the voice of that change, as everything filters through her.

She who walked away from her job of ten years to embark upon a new one, is feeling the uncertainty in the air, but realizing the un-certainty is only leaving room for change, and how her only job in this world, is to be adaptable to every change, without holding on to anything.  That was made clear to me as well in a dream I had last night, that came to me more like messages or words, and not visions. I heard this voice say to me, when you embrace death, without fear of holding on to anything, this is when you clearly do not need this world.  I did not know what to think of it, as it was not death, in the physical of me dying. But more like letting go of everything, and feeling the peace of what death would mean( peace in this world) I attributed this feeling from the death of my partners nephew, which happened only last week. He was ten years of age when he passed from this world, but to me, far older than his physical body would indicate. He had such an impact on me, because two years ago when he first was diagnosed with the cancer, I performed a healing on him.

During the healing, I heard the message of the energy indicate for me to back off.  To not interfere in any way with this little boys journey. It was something I had never encountered in all the years I had performed Reiki, and honestly was flabbergasted. It was during this time I began to understand the layering of energy, and how healing or trying to do so, is not what the situation called for. This is when the principles, became vague, and unclear for me, as I had to watch this boy suffer with pain, and refusing any time the mother asked or insinuated for me to do energy work .

  I was even more taken back, as this little boy revealed to me, that he had imagined for many years what it would be like to have cancer. How can a little boy possibly even think of such things, and to see it manifested in the physical as more than just a childs vivid imagination?  It was clear to me, I was in the presence of something special. For it did not weigh heavily on him at all, that he had cancer, and could die from it. He was completely detached from what the conclusion represented, and I was in awe of his knowing and understanding. I was told as I worked on him, that this boy will die. He will beat the first round of cancer, go into remission, and then have it again, three times worse than he had it before.  I waited, sat back and watched, as the very dynamics foretold to me two years ago, did happen. And at times it was unbelievably frustrating for me, to watch, as the mother kept investing so much energy into fixing him, or healing him.

There was a big wedge between her and I. And i could feel her judging me for not healing him, and me judging her for continuing to hold on to something that only wanted to let go. Two days before he died, I received a dream, for telling me that soon I would get the call, within two to three days. I don’t know why I needed to know that. Perhaps it was to reiterate to my partner the severity of the situation, so that he would convey the information to his father in Virginia, who would have been on a plane long before Christmas, had his daughter not been in so much denial about her son. Or maybe it was because I needed to make the phone call to the distressed mother, asking how he was, because when we visited him on Christmas Eve, according to her, the cancer was shrinking and he was doing fine. It’s amazing to me how it’s so difficult to separate what seems like hope, and denial, when facing such situations. How does one really act? Do you give in to the reality that your child will die, or do you push it aside, so as to prevail in the miracle?

I feel like I was put to the test. That Misty the fixer, the healer, the sympathetic one, had to be  put down, so as to embrace a different role, (the observer)

 That I was to love this child,making an investment in the relationship knowing he would die, but not being attached to the conclusion of death.  And from this lesson, or test, I am now being trusted with more information. The only downfall is sometimes that “more information” can sound like the ravings of a lunatic parading in my head. And it’s not something you can so willingly share with others, without them looking at you like your some kind Witch that should be burned at the stake.. Suddenly the past memories of me being chased down by angry mobs with pitch forks comes flashing back at me.  No joke, I do remember what I once was, and still am today.

So I keep silent, as the energy tells me not to speak, just yet, and only to wait. To let go of any attachment I may have, and to trust. I feel embraced, and nurtured every step of the way. And I don’t know, until a friend of mine puts into words. I was faced with a confrontation recently, in which I did not react, and felt the humility of myself in doing so. As I explained to my friend what occurred, she laughed.. Saying don’t they know, that Misty never has to do anything, because Misty works for the big boss, (the universe) Misty doesnt do anything for herself. She puts her life in the hands of the universe every step of the way, and is always protected, even if it appears to the onlookers she is up shit creek without a paddle.

 I laughed because it was so true. And she could only recognize this in me, because she does the same. I am also not afraid to ask the universe to provide, when I am providing what it wants. I say god where do you want me to be. And if hell is where you want me, then you provide the ice.  If you want me to do these 23 Massages this week, then you better give me enough energy to do so. And it does. It’s like everytime I feel things becoming so hard, I feel it lighten, so as to take the next step. If you want me to back off and watch this child die in pain, then give me the tools to deal with it. If you ask of me as a human to not think like a human, then you need to equip me with the tools to deal with it like a spiritual being. Much like Jesus exclaiming “father why have you forsaken me”

We are all moving in this direction.. Call it the Christ Conciousness, The Awakening, The Ascension, however you wish to define it. Everything is so sped up to demonstrate the power in our surrender. That the more we hang on to anything, as we move down the rivers current, the more uncomfortable we will be. But when we surrender, the universe still moves us down the current, but provides a glass of ice tea when we are thirsty, and some sun block if we ask not to be burned in the daily sun. We are moving into the next layer of conditioning of detachment. For it matters not if we lose our jobs, our house, our loved ones, we will always be supported. When we kill the “Witch” recognizing we are the”Witch”

Ding dong the “Witch” is dead.. But she aint so wicked.. She is just like the man behind the curtain, recognizing the only power she has is just to go with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Horse Whisperer, and More

Buck Brannaman, a bow-legged cow-boy who travels the country to teach four day clinics is a prodigy with horses. The real “Horse Whisperer” capable of captivating a horse with his gentle approach and mesmerizing the many spectators. To watch buck interact with these beautiful animals, is to see something truly amazing, as he and the horse become as one, performing a dance, that even Fred Astaire would be proud of. Emphasizing the correlation of the horses disposition to the reflection of the owner, buck not only trains the horse, but educates the human during these clinics. 

In the recent documentary film titled “Buck” he encounters a stud, who attacks when approached. Buck explains how the horse is unbridled from fearful emotions, from the abuse the young stud endured when it was oxygen deprived at birth, and left oprhaned by its deceased mother. The owner rasing 18 studs of her own, was not able to work with the horse, and treat it as if you would with a child with special needs, and so without the proper training, the horse became wild.

Unbeknownst to the studs owner, she would leave that day from the clinic, not only making an important decision to put the stud down, accepting full responsibility of her failure with a mentally challenged horse,  but also to make some clear changes in her own personal life. Buck delivered a stern but caring message, the way a concerned father would disciplining his own child, changing her outlook of how she saw herself.

“Why don’t you want to enjoy Life, he says to the fragile and taken back woman. “How this horse acts, says everything I need to know about you” Nobody should have 18 studs, unless they just feel they should be punished in life” What are you trying to prove”

 The harsh reality of Bucks words, causes an emotional breakdown in the owner. As streams of tears flow from her, a gentle shake of her head in agreeance to the validity of his message, causes Buck to react in a sympathetic way with a pat to her back. It was a real moment, where the owner not only sees the responsibility she carries for the behavior of her horse, but in her life as well, and the many dynamics of it.  The owner, a forty something stocky blonde unsure of herself, left with her pride bruised, but her heart open and aware of what she has created in her own reality.

Being a reader myself, I would say regardless if the owners intention was to save the horse, it was she who was saved, and needed retribution. To me it was an intervention of a higher power, that brought her to the clinic, to hear the words of a well-respected man in her field, who on a personal level did not need to know her, but knew.  It was god acting or the divine acting through him, recognizing the clarity in the dynamics of her own being, and everything around her. And how in her assuming full responsibility would be the empowerment she needed to change her own life. I couldn’t help but see how when I as a reader give readings, the same emotional reaction occurs, and the benefits of it. It was like watching myself watching myself in action. It was a real moment for me, to see this man in action, and see bits of myself in it. How the truth when it is spoken so stern from a place of love, can be so healing, if one is willing to accept it.

Buck attributes his talents, by relating with a skiddish horse, as a scared little boy he once was, hiding in the shadows despite the appearance of being raised as a child in the spotlight. Buck speaks about his past, as a stepping stone to what he is today, detailing acts of abuse, that most would find bitterness from. He in essence would say, he has seen the darkness and the demons, but by being in the darkness, he learned what can appear to be dark, is merely only fear.

“These horses are the most sensitive of creatures, feeling everything from a slight gesture of your body” If you smell like a big mac, and you want to put the left over caucus of a dead animal on your horse, I would say that takes a lot of trust” 

His comment left both, me and my partner in stitches, but with a fresh perspective of how this man can understand how an animal would feel, when he himself for many years felt like one as well.  It struck me in ways, as I too can relate to his story, being the daughter of a woman who was mentally ill, and suffering years of abuse both physical and sexual from it. Learning from those many moments, and how to tap into a higher power, that would give me the talent to touch others in the same way I was nurtured.

Buck continues to explain how the stud, if not left to its own devices, and treated with special care, the horse could have possibly been the most gentlest of creatures, not smart, because of the brain damage, but a loving horse. When asked by one of the spectators, how it is you could be so patient and not treat the horse like a looser, and close the door. Buck replied that thought< “I would never consider, because it is not the horse who failed, but the owner who failed it.

Buck then begin to recount his story of abuse, and how he often acted like that scared animal, he knew what it felt like to feel alone, and skiddish of the world. But we all have choices to make. The past is the past, we cannot live in the past, and be in the moment, otherwise the moment is never lived. I have  seen dark things in my life, but all of us have things to carry, and so that is irrelevant. But what we do with them is what makes the difference”

The film did not continue with the story of the studs owner. But one would assume by the relevance of the moment, a seed was dropped, and in all hope she cultivated the seed.

We all have demons and darkness, within us, around us, and apart of us. The demons being everywhere, each time you feel the need to be nasty to your local store clerk, that demon weighing heavily on your heels, never leaves us. But to know darkness, is to feel the light. And we can see the magic of our very being and what we have to contribute, from reaching deep inside ourselves. Some say it is the tortured ones who understand this the most, for all pride is stripped from them, standing fresh with a coat of humility for all the world to see.

I would tend to have to agree..

Much love

Misty Dawn

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