The child that teaches us…

It was two years ago when I received the phone call from the school principle informing me that my son had been reprimanded from his acts of abusive behavior toward another child. He was in the first grade, and was academically failing as well as socially. There had already been countless meetings with the behavioral specialist, teachers, principal to determine what steps to take to insure my child’s academic future, now this added to insult to injury.

The principal in her very kind compassionate voice conveyed to me the demeanor of my sons behavior. She indicated that my son had placed hands on another child, violently grabbing hold of him and throwing him to the ground. My son bowing his head in shame as me and the principal spoke, was barely able to speak himself and had for the most part emotionally shut down. Although the principal was not present for the encounter she had received first hand information from other grade schoolers who had witnessed the account, and had been unable to successfully extract any additional information from my son. I approached my son and he recoiled at my gesture, pushing himself even deeper into the chair he was sitting in. I asked him if he was aware of what he did, and if he had any remorse for his actions? Suddenly as if every word he wanted to share was hidden in the shame of how others viewed him, he began speaking so fast and with such frustration we could barely make out his words. I had to grab his hands stroking them, asking him to calm himself and to inform him we were not against him but wanted to understand why he would take such action against another.