Its all a dance

Life is chaotic. In between rush hour traffic of the daily grind and planning whats for dinner, we barely have any moments to ourselves. For the longest time I acted as a teacher, father, mother and counselor, not only to my children but to the attendees of my classes and facilitated meditations. I walked away from that to embrace myself. Since then I take time to do the things I enjoy the most drumming, meditating, sushi, the beach and this blog. All ways for me to disengage from the demands of life. I take a retreat almost every week in bite size pieces to accommodate my schedule. To me it is like breathing and decompressing all the energy build up from those who have depended on me the most.

This allows for me to be in the flow. To feel the synchronicity of god communicating to me. Today both Jeremy and I were put to the challenge of this. My car would not start after we left the “Love Hut” A small local business owned by very dear friends of ours who specialize in finding great deals and share those savings with the patron as a token of love, this is where we found ourselves stuck. It was a blessed moment for Jeremy and I to break down here.

Our friends in service to our needs gathered around the car to see how to resolve the issue. Everyone was engaged and focused on how to alleviate the stress of trouble shooting why the car wouldn’t start. It began to pour. A storm of blowing debris began to form all around us. Friends showed up out the blue offering us rides. Friends were called on the phone. All channels of service from every stone to be turned was initiated by these friends. Eventually we determined the root of the issue and were back on the road again. On our way back to the house we encountered a lawn service truck who was finishing up a yard. Jeremy and I had been in search of a small mom and pop business to upkeep our lawn. We felt we both work hard and if one less burden of the yard maintenance is taken off of us for a small price was worth the investment. Soon enough we had a lawn care service following us to our home to cut our lawn. As bleak as it may have appeared to be, we were still able to accomplish many things.

Yes our day was railroaded by the demands of the car, but the offering of friendship and love was not.  Jeremy and I both laughed at the irony of how there is no better place to break down then at the “Love Hut”

She grows many roses.. And it makes me angry..

To say anger isn’t real or lacks any validity is the equivalence of saying everyone loves me.  Believing in the illusion of everyone loving you isn’t as gratifying as accepting the truth, that not all are meant to love you, except yourself. For it is your purpose and lesson to love yourself accepting rejection and not seeing yourself as less than. Rejection is not an action It is a state of mind. It is a cause and effect of fear within. For the true process of spirit is to experience with open arms. For one who grows only roses in their garden will reject many flowers.

These were the words I heard as I asked for the divine to speak to me. To give me guidance of why it was I felt rejected, and my voice snuffed out from someone whom I thought loved me. The answer revealed to me was shocking, and not easy to swallow. It called me out, as the divine most often does…Bringing forth my true intentions.

What goes up, must come down..

The ebb, and the flow.. We hear it being said over and over from every new age spiritual book, and talk show host.  The flow, is when dynamics line up in your life, almost in a miraculous setting, giving confirmation to the divine source, and the ultimate observer in the sky. The ebb, is of course the exact opposite of this, where things seem to be out of equation, and feel almost depressing.To me it represents the universal relationship we have with our parents (our creator) that love hate relationship, where we love when we are nurtured, but hate it when we are disciplined.

Some would say it is a simple shift of perspective, choosing to look at things in a more positive light. The proverbial cliché of “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade”

Well I have seen my fair share of life throwing some lemons at people  and all in fairness, there just wasn’t any sugar in the scenario to make lemonade.  We could look at it ten ways to Sunday, proclaiming it as Karma, Frequency, like attracts like, or even lessons. But I like to always take a concept and explore it even deeper than that, by applying it to my own life, and see what happens. “To walk the talk”

I will watch you trip and fall

Often in life, we are faced with many challenges. Most of those challenges usually are something we experience in a personal way, like choosing to face a situation that brings us no comfort, and having to make a choice to either keep going, or walk away. But what I find more difficult than anything, is not choices that effect me, but choices that effect others.

To knowingly make a choice, that in many regards means to walk away, yet you are still standing there observing, watching as someone you love very much, “Trip and Fall.”

Functioning with the Dysfunctional (yourself)

Relationships that is the name of the game. Everywhere I look, be it married, cheating, dating, contemplating leaving, being in one, or reluctant to enter,  relationships seem to be under a tidal wave of emotions, mixed with justifications, perceptions, and the big one( the lessons)

One would say relationships are work, and should not be thought of as anything other than something you sacrifice; compromise, finding a middle road to sustain. Another would suggest sacrifice as an insult to your being and compromise is just semantics to the suggestion of what sacrifice is. Then of course you have your categorized relationships (the functional, and the dysfunctional) And boy is this topic never-ending..  It starts from A to Z.  A meaning arrogance, and Z meaning, she loved her zebra more than me!!!

One does not ever want to find themselves in a dysfunctional relationship. This portrays a whole in your partner of choice and therefore a whole in yourself.  You may want to seek counsel to iron out the dysfunction of you by choosing to be with someone who has a whole. This seems to be a better way in shifting the blame.  As if it isn’t big enough race as it is  to find that special someone before your ovaries shrink to little raisins and the tiny little laugh lines begin to look like the grand canyon marching across your face.  Lets face it ladies, the saying of aged to perfection may work for wine, but for women  its called whining!! Once you zoom past thirty the clock never breaks.  Now lets throw yet another category of duality into  the sacredness of what it means to love to bog our minds with more dysfunction of ourselves. It is me who is dysfunctional by choosing to be with you who is not functional. Woo hoo!!

WE will call it the god relationship which is perfect ( functional) and full of butterfly’s and dewy rain drops, or the Devil Relationship(dysfunctional) which is the equivalence of that aged old expression the devil made me do it cause I aint accepting any responsibility. Yup that makes sense.

Then there are those, who say they have assumed complete responsibility by choosing to focus on themselves by never leaving room for a relationship to blossom. And they convince themselves that being alone is much better than being in a dysfunctional relationship. Really? Since when was your own arms able to embrace you in a hug, or listen to the rantings of your day as your partner (the devils advocate) suggests another perception other than your own. That kind of interaction aint going to be found on Oprah, or your next self-help book. It can only be found in the act of doing. Not observing what the act of doing may look like, from the comfort of your couch eating bon bons. Talk about dysfunction!!

How much growth can you possibly obtain if you don’t do it through unity and integration of another individual’s view-point?  You can stay in your ivory towers growing your locks of hair, but the cobwebs are growing everywhere. Rapunzel Rapunzel!! throw down, oh never mind, your too damn old to have any hair!!

Lets face it, there is no perfect relationship, functional or dysfunctional, because all are imperfect in your perfect forms. Everyone under construction riddled with dysfunction from every time you encountered disharmony, and pain in your life. You, have built those walls to protect  from this fear of not having control creating the psychosis that goes along with it (the dysfunction)

Dysfunction isn’t being in a dysfunctional relationship. It is categorizing something as dysfunctional to justify your strengths and weaknesses, as a dysfunctional relationship. For the abused become the conqueror, and the abuser becomes the abused. As Buddha  who once lived in dysfunction through the controlling will of his parents as a prince, became a vagabond by dysfunctional means to feel the serenity of himself in a dysfunctional world and freed himself of his dysfunction. We too are doing the same.

The simple fact is just when you think you know, you don’t. Just when you think you have put something in its nice little categorized box, another dynamic of life comes and knocks you out of your “obsessive compulsive disorder”  Sorry, but your underwear drawer can no longer be coordinated by color.  The blues will have to touch the reds at some time, and your willingness to control everything around you will be squashed, until you submit your next subscription to faith. Faith in yourself, faith in others, faith, that all is as it should be, and the faith to always choose love. No matter where it leads you, into a dark alley, or upon rainbows is the tandem relationship with god mimicked in man. Why do you think they call it “making love”  and if god is love, then what do you think you are making when you choose to be vulunerable and naked as you once was? To let go of your fear, to trust, to feel the guidance, opening your eyes seeing the love sewn into every fiber of your life. And for those who are in a relationship contemplating if it is worth it.

Don’t worry it always becomes clear in time. Perhaps not in the time frame you want it to be in, but it always resonates within you. One day you just wake up knowing. So stop your psycho babble, self destructive analyzing between the lines, it gets you no where but more self doubt.

Its like cooking spaghetti. You can never tell that its done just by looking at the pot.  You have to throw it on the wall, and see if its sticks. If you are in doubt just remember god stirs the pot. Sometimes your damn free will needs to be shaken a bit.

Relationships, are not meant to be easy cause you certainly weren’t easy. Hence the story of the Garden of Eden. Even when you did have perfection it wasnt enough, you still needed duality. We needed to run around in circles a thousand life times apparently just to come back to the origin of being aware but not needing to be aware. And you call this knowledge, and wisdom? A wisdom you have somehow convinced yourself that the only way to know is from comparison of what good and bad is? That your success is based on someone elses failure? That your functional living with a dysfunctional person?  Hope that apple was worth it?

You will not have the luxury of living in your black and white world unless you are a zebra, and even then you have to worry about the next predator eating you for dinner. Did you really think it was going to be that easy? Did you really think I would be the parent who would bail you out of jail on one of your late night drink fests? All you have is a choice now make one. You can choose to let go,and trust that someone other than yourself may have the answers, or keep glued to that cliff by your fingernails. And remember not making a choice, is making one.. Oh and the wind is blowing..

Sincerely

The Universe (also known as god)