Coming full circle

Do you remember the day, as you squeezed the little box into the very last inch of space, in your tiny car packed to the hilt: good on gas, but not the most appropriate mode of transportation for moving.

You kissed your parents on the cheek, and waved at them in the most royal of manners, smiling from the rearview mirror, as the “MANTRA you had repeated, over and over to your friends on those late night conversations had finally arrived: FREEDOM!!! And what a powerful feeling it was, as your parents looked onward at you with the awe-struck glaze upon their faces; like that of a soldier entering into battle. Finally you thought, no more courtesy phone calls to make, explaining to my controlling parents, that I wont be home until after midnight, because I just feel like it!! And the people I want to date, will now be of my own liking and not be subjected to their looming eyes of disappointment. Woo hoo!! you thought, this is my life now!!! And months or years later, as you had to

swallow your pride to make a phone call explaining how billy or Sara ( the one your parents disapproved of) broke your heart. Or that, Sara( the responsible roommate you counted on for her share of the rent) left you cold and dry, when she decided at last-minute to bank on love, and move in with her boyfriend. All those moments, you couldn’t wait to be from the grips of your controlling parents suddenly came flooding back to you, as you realize, it was not that they wanted to control me, but protect me.

This is what I refer to as “Coming full Circle” When we realize everything we tried to escape from, or thought we knew better, or could have more,suddenly strikes us with the realization of “boy I knew nothing” And it took a little bit of the hard knocks of life, to earn this humility I am feeling.

The symbol of the circle, represents unity and oneness, without an ending or a beginning: a constant flow.

I think of this scenario, and I cant help but be reminded of the story of The Garden of Eden. How we in the perfect of forms, innocent, loving, un-aware of what good or bad is, pushed away our creator, very much like a rebellious teenager who lashes out at their parents, because of our need “to know” what it is we “do not know, or think we know”. And how many times, I myself as an adult, have not listened, and instead walked in circles, just to come full circle, to what the universe intended, in the first place.

I think about the little chapter, from one of the first metaphysical books, I had ever read, Conversations with God, and how we in our perfect of light forms, came to this world to experience what we are not; darkness. That for us, to see the appreciation of who we truly are in the divine, we have to experience the strife encountered, on our road back to the arms of our creator. To see that even in knowing the duality of good and bad, it still is all forms of love. And that our creator, in its loving gesture (just like a parent) releases us into a world of uncertainty, and darkness, so as to come full circle back into the appreciation of what a parent originally tried to protect us from.

This week, I had one of those feelings, as I was lovingly asked to come back to a place, in which I had first started from. At first I had to check myself, and my pride of thinking, that I was going backwards, or had failed in some way. I was able to do so, when that place I had originally left, to pursue what I believed to be was “bigger things” felt more like home to me, than any other place I had ever been.

Big Bad Misty, who had set out to make her way in the world, said goodbye many years ago,to return back with the full understanding, humbled, with pride checked at that door.. I was home.. It felt like the universe was speaking to me in volumes, I told you So..

Yet I knew the universe or the creator, understood, I had to come “full circle, as we all do, to really appreciate the gifts we are given. And after-all the journey was not a complete wash, as I had some great tools in my tool belt to give me the confidence, in knowing, and accepting the divine being in which I am (As we all are)

What is very strange to me, is that for years, I wore this beautiful Amethyst Necklace, given to be my Granny. I never took the necklace of, and from its usage, hair of my own, had wrapped around the chain, preventing me from ever taking it off. Today I literally felt the necklace irritating me, scratching the back of my neck, and without hesitation, I ripped the chain apart. It was a weird feeling, almost like too much blood flow to a limb that was once in a cast for healing. Anyone who knows me, knows how endearing I was toward that necklace, and today I take it off, thinking I may not put it back on.

As I reflect upon my journey, it is funny to me, that the universe put me where I needed to be in the first place, but in my quest to succeed to be more, I did not see how that more was already being presented. How so often we close things up, like a book we are reading, only to resume the next chapter years later. But I love these moments, as they feel very serendipitous to me, reminding me of the underlining magic sewn into the tapestry of life, and that god, divine, universe, is always waiting for you to see it..

Much love to all

Misty Dawn

I hope you Danced

Yesterday, I wrote a status on my Facebook. “The only thing we fear of death, is did we live”

Lately, I have thought about death, as it seems to be everywhere around me. Clients who are suffering with cancer, too many memorials to visit, and many in a place of transition, feeling like their life has taken on many forms of death, from divorces, to severance of friends.

I have watched many fall into a complacent relationship, for the sake of comfort, while disregarding the love of their lives, because it seems so foreign, and uncomfortable, only to feel the regret pulsating in their veins, while still trying to hold on to some shred of pride.

Pride is our biggest “sin” For it keeps us from truly being vulnerable enough to be naked, and exposed of what we “really want” And so is the word success.. How many times has this word, and its many forms gotten us into trouble, and even harnessed our “dreams” My all time favorite expression, (least favorite that its) is  “It seemed like the right thing to do”

How confused we are, when what seems like the right thing to do, is merely just another way to avoid “what we feel we should do” And then we wonder why it is the universe, in its constant expression of our real desires, weaves a set of dynamics in our life, that destroys the very thing we thought was the “right thing to do” 

We even allow this “right thing to do” to take root in our very own identity, as we see ourselves being in the roles we have taken on. Numerous times, allowing for all our hopes desires, to be stolen from ourselves, from every time we did not speak, or swallowed yet another pill of complacency.

I made a comment to my daughter, as I have watched her for many years, wait on the sidelines for the most opportune time to jump into the waters of life “What will you do, if I died tomorrow”

I heard a reluctant sigh escape from her lips, and a daunting question was circulating in her mind, that in the moment felt like a stabbing to her heart. She was un-able to answer the question, and a heavy feeling of energy encompassed the drive home in silence. “What seemed like “the right thing to do” was to avoid the conversation all together, but “what I feel I should do, weighed more heavily on me, than the other.

It sucks at times to be the bringer of truth.. To be the one, that drops the seed. You certainly don’t get adoration, or be the most favorable person to talk to. Yet in your hearts of hearts, you know it needs to be said, as it is the ability to love enough, to be seen as the”bad guy”

“To speak your truth”

I’m not planning my death, nor do I think I will die tomorrow. More like trying to set a precedent for those around me, as well as myself, that we should live, as if it is our last day, breathing it all in, taking each new step, as yet another day to discover ourselves, leaving no stone unturned.

Why live our lives as if we are walking on a mine field, carefully planning each step, when the only thing we can ever count on is death.

When someone asks me a question of “What should I do” or “What if this happens? I always rebuttal with something like, well and what if it does. What is the worst thing that could ever happen to you, except to die?  But there is a far worse death, than just a physical one, and that is death of spirit. We can all exist. We do this so well, but to live, well that is the “greatest adventure”  Some could argue this is a reckless approach. I would say the whole world, as we know it to be is built on chaos. Even scientists, can only speculate, as they too, do not have the answers. “The big bang theory” boom collision, perfectly formed chaos. If you think the universe is as contrived, as your life should be, then oh boy, you are in for a “big surprise”

Think about it.. Energy swirling constantly, from vibration of thoughts, actions, motion, creating manifesting, from each passing vibration, that takes shape in another form. Does that sound contrived to you?

I have died, too many times to mention, and been re-born to take on another incarnation of self. Have been pushed away, picked at, for not just “nodding my head” and saying “yes I agree with you” Often leaving me to feel alone, in my own dance.

All were not with ease, and some flowed, like the river inside me.  I have went through partners, relationships, friends,  careers, “like butter”  I have felt the pain, the disconnect of those who I once loved passionately, fizzle out, like a flat soft drink, stagnating in the sun.  All of them were absolutely paramount to my growth, and to this day, still hold an enduring quality to me, despite what I may be showing on the outside, so as to keep the severance in place.

The hardest thing in our lives, is “knowing what we want” and yet that is half the battle, as “knowing what we want” isn’t the same as “believing we can have it”  Many take an entire life time, to know what they want, and others know what they want, but can’t overcome their fears, their lack inside, to believe they can have it.

“Know what you want, and want what you want”

I have watched people, repeat the same thing over and over, and others beat themselves up for trying something new, receiving an outcome they least expected.  But isn’t that the point.. To do something different, so as to have an outcome you can’t even began to speculate upon. If we knew the ending to every movie, would we bother watching it?

Life is merely a dance.. A dance, that takes on many partners, and many dynamics as to how we shall dance the dance. In our knowing, we know nothing. In our “leaps of faith” we embrace the “dance of joy” and new beginnings, knowing there is no “need to know”

Nothing is solid.  Our sincere attempt to hold on to anything is really just a means to escape the inevitable conclusion; everything is build on a house of cards, ready to fall.  It is a part of our evolution as humans beings (in spirit form) not human beings in physical form. All is revealed in that moment of just “being.”  Our lives do not have to be so contrived. We limit ourselves of the possibilities of the “dance” by doing so.

Dance as if your life depended on it, because it does. Dance because there is nothing that will bring you deeper expressions of joy. Speak your truth every time you “feel the need to do so” not because it is the “right thing to do” but because it is the “only thing to do”  Because when the end is near, and the last breath upon you, the only thing that will matter in those last moments, is did I live?

Did I seize every opportunity before me to express myself, to love myself and to know myself? Did I bottle myself up, demean myself by limiting who I was to appease the masses?  Did I love with the fierce passion of a glowing fire? Did I give it everything? Did I believe in myself and stand up to those who opposed me and gave me question to doubt myself?  Did I step on toes? Did I love hate, felt admiration from others? Was I a good person to myself?  Do I regret any of my choices?  And in everything I did, was it from love or from fear?

These are the questions we will ask ourselves at the end of the road. And these are the questions we should be asking ourselves everyday, as we never know how close that end may be.

I hope you can say you “danced”

Much love to all

Misty

The Rider, and the Horse

As of lately, I have found myself in a funky place. And no I don’t mean funky as in “play that funky music white boy,” I mean a place of feeling discontent. Sometimes I can look at my horoscope, or even draw conclusion from the fact its a full moon, and feel my more melodramatic side take a prominent stand, but this discontent wasn’t at all like that.  It was more like the discontent of feeling satisfied in myself, but feeling the discontent of others, how they react or even communicate to me (the external mirrors of self)

We have our internal mirror, the one in which how we view ourselves to be from the inside, and the external mirror of the world, in which how we view ourselves to be in the eyes of another, or many. Often these perceptions can contradict one another, as we can be very misleading to who we really are, by the actions we take, being viewed by the lens of the world. This then begins an unraveling of sorts, where self-doubt, and questioning takes hold of us in a most powerful grip of introspection. I look at these moments as forks in the road. Where the path I am currently walking, can be explored in a deeper way, or shifted into something else.   Almost like deciding to take vows with another, you instead are taking vows with yourself.  The only difference is, there cannot be any expectations to the outcome, once you decide.

“How do you choose to experience yourself?

Yesterday, I spent three hours on the phone, talking with my Reiki Master, explaining to her some of the dynamics playing out in my life, and how I was feeling. After hearing me talk, she explained to me, that I was standing at a “crossroads”

My Reiki Master, a beautiful patient, compassionate loving woman, who can listen intently, but then dive the message home, with her metaphorical butt whippings, posed a question to me, of why I, an obvious”extrovert” chose a mentor who is for the most part an  “introvert”

I found this to be such a ridiculous question to me, but a valid one for her to ask from me. I told her that when I speak to her, I feel no expectation of how I should be.

How refreshing it is to me, to feel accepted just as I am. . You see me, and can recognize where I am standing is neither good, nor bad, that it just happens to be where I am standing, and you illuminate where it is that I am standing, so as to empower me, in that illumination. I care not that you are an introvert, extrovert, someone who has written many books, or a little old lady with a million cats, cut off from society. It is from this feeling with you, being accepted, and not judged, that I use this same means to communicate with the world.

I have seen my fair share of “spiritual leaders” preaching positive thinking to others,  to get a leg up in their own lives, from standing on the backs of others, exploiting their fear of not being accepted as they are. I have also seen great spiritual leaders who in their positive thinking do not judge what positive thinking is, and show only acceptance. These are the people far and few between.

A horse, is one that is being driven by the rider, and it competes, with its rider, by running faster, from the whip. That horse runs, for the sake of being ridden,  knowing it’s purpose,much like the ego drives us to perform, and accomplish great tasks. What would happen, if instead we became the horse with no rider, nothing to drive us, just chewing on the grass, or running with an the oceans current.

The question we all must ask ourselves, in one time or another of our lives, is

Do we want to be the rider, or the horse?

Either one has a significant role, and one needs the other in convenience, as the rider needs the horse to prevent from walking, and the horse needs the rider, so as to have a purpose to be ridden. But when the two began to realize both are capable of being just as they are, the horse, will chew on the grass, running  for the adventure, and the rider, will know what it means, to go a great distance walking on foot.

Because of our strive for the pursuit of happiness, we place boundaries upon ourselves as to what this happiness should feel like, and look like. We pick apart at these very things, as we are always wanting more of this ecstasy feeling, that validates we are standing in a good place, and see the accomplishments we have made by doing so. (this is the ego) And it is not a bad thing, it is simply the whip that keeps us running, motivated to perform at the race. By performing, we feel glorious, a show horse, beautiful and at the peak of our prime, pampered through our performance, and admired for all we do. But the trade-off is that in the admiration of others, we always have to keep running, and performing, so as to sustain our image of being a winner.

We cannot say, this doesn’t feel good, or we are simply not thirsty for this feeling, as it is the very validation in ourselves as to how we are performing, and learning in our lives.

But what would happen, if we just became the horse who chews upon the grass? Would we care not how we are viewed? Would we care not that as a horse it is in our nature to defecate wherever we stand, and it matters not that we trow upon it…lol.. What a mental picture I get when describing this, but I think to myself how incredibly freeing this would be.  To just be.. That instead of taking great lengths to be seen as good, loving, successful, we instead take our steps as a mean of finding the next patch of grass to chew upon. The next great winding road to run upon, just for the feel of running, and not performing.

These have been the questions I have asked myself. So i can see that it is not that I have been in a funk, as that was me making judgement upon myself for not being my happy self. But that I have been questioning the validity of myself (internal mirrors) versus the validity of myself in the (external mirrors) and asking myself which one holds more weight.

I know that each and every one of us, has this feeling. And we smile, sending out love, being loving, so as to receive more love. Again not a bad thing, but what becomes so very apparent to me, as how we are so willing to smile, be loving, excluding our feelings in this scenario, so as to be loved by others,(performing)negating our own acceptance(of just being)

Much love to all…

Misty

What are we unlearning

Recently a question was posed to me, pertaining to giving gifts. It started out as a discussion, where many offered their own view points. Some said that a true gift, is one that bare’s no expectation with it, and it matters not if appreciation is shown.

Others said that the gift itself is the appreciation she feel when you have gifted to another.. A pay it forward kind of formula. All points were valid to me, but since my own internal process wont allow me to think in such absolutes, (especially to the affairs of the heart, that couldn’t be any more complicated) I found myself striking up my own internal dialogue.

As simple as we like to say it is,  in all justifiable purposes,  it is never this simple. We are spirits, connected to the divine,but also human beings with many fallacies and desires. These desires can be the very rocket fuel we need to catapult us into the next evolution of ourselves. To deny them, is to deny the very essence of our own being, in which we have chosen to discover, in our bodily form.

Yes we are learning, but in doing so to attain more information, we are unlearning as well

To me this is something we should all keep in mind. For as much as we like to believe we are free thinkers, we are all still stirring up the pot of data, we have collected from the constructs of society’s thinking.

I myself can’t count how many times I have been on the receiving end of a  gift, only to discover an agenda or attachment to it. An attachment, that upon closer inspection lacks the ability of freedom of expression as to how one would respond in appreciation.

We have all been trained, told how to act toward any gift we are receiving.  Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because we are generating a lack of respect for the person who gave to us, and for ourselves, which is wrong. Yet to me this gets into some grey area, that doesn’t seem to get explored, until we began to question our own integrity, that is very much forced upon us by our parents, who created the expectation in themselves, so as to measure how they are in child rearing.

Again another example of what we have learned, and what it is we are unlearning.

And how many times have I been the one to gift, only to receive a lack of appreciation from the receiver, telling myself what an awful person they are for showing me no respect. Only to justify it in my own mind, by saying “it is not that they are disrespecting me but of themselves.

How self-righteous must we be in our line of thinking, to see ourselves in a higher light..  Woo hoo, yet another example of what we have learned, and quite possibly need to unlearn..

I remember a friend of mine many years ago, asked me to make them a cd, with the talents of Sting. I at the time was a big Mazzy Star fan, and wanted to introduce him to her haunting voice, I found to be mesmerizing.  I spent hours on the cd, carefully picking out songs I felt would strike a chord in him, and paid for the shipping to his home.

He called me, to say “Misty I do not want you to take this wrong, but I asked for a gift from you, one that I entrusted in you to give, without attaching any of your own expectation with it” “You instead did the exact opposite, and now if I show no appreciation for the gift you gave me, you will see it as me being a selfish person”

I pondered his words, and said to him you are absolutely right, and if you did not want the gift, I would understand, and in return I would be more than happy to make up for my mistake, by making another CD for you. He laughed, and said “Fortunately I loved everything you put on the cd, and I thank you for thinking of me, but all to often many people don’t get that a gift can only be a gift, if the receiver sees it as such”

“If someone asks for a pound of apples, and instead you bring them bananas, you really haven’t given them anything. Yes he said, the act of giving them something, is just that: something, but not a gift”

I was happy from what he said to me. Instead of pretending to be grateful, he instead gave me a bigger appreciation of our friendship, one that is the free ultimate expression of love (honesty) And although his honesty only helped to increase the bond between us, for others, it has proven to create the exact opposite.

In my first marriage, we would for every holiday season, visit his stepsister’s home. She was a very glitzy dominant person who was brutally honest to the fault. Often at times even laughing at herself, as she hosted a party with the temperament of  a hollywood starlet, using words like “darling” and “isn’t it fabulous” So in watching her disposition, I decided that the best approach with her was to demonstrate the very same honesty, hoping by doing so it would usher in respect, for being able to speak my mind so freely as she was capable of doing.  I found this not to be the response I desired, when one night, I opened a pair of earrings, dressed in green glitter, almost wincing by its appearance.

She saw my face, and said “do you not like, them, cause if you don’t, I will take them back?” Apprehensively I shook my head with a painful expression telling her no, I’m sorry they just aren’t something I would ever wear.

She then grabbed the gift, screaming at me, staring at me in disbelief of my statement, exclaiming how she spent hours trying to find the perfect gift for me. I found this hard to believe, since the earnings looked like something bought from the discount bin, of Wal-Mart, and didn’t resemble anything she had ever seen me wear from previous parties I attended. But I quickly apologized to her, and felt shameful for my response, and angry, because I did not feel I did anything wrong, but give opportunity to promote a deeper expression of honesty, as my friend had once given to me.

This experience alone, taught me that nothing is absolute. For what worked with one individual, certainly doesn’t work with the next. And as much as we as human beings need to define things, and categorize, for the sake of clarity, it was clear to me, that nothing could be so more unclear.

I don’t think the answer is as simple as just give, for the sake of giving. Or be appreciative of every gift you receive.For to me it would seem by generalizing, we can create a very convoluted idea or expectation upon ourselves as to how we should approach when giving, and receiving.

Such as the gift of love. And I do not mean as in a universal love, but a more personalized love,(making love)

When a woman gives of her body to a man, she has given him a beautiful gift. She is aware of the value of this gift,  but wants the act of her giving to be reciprocated in an even bigger act of appreciation. How the man responds, speaks volumes to her in the value of the gift. If he treats it with such ill accord, then the gift, that was once a gift, becomes a meaningless blanket of shame, and regret.

In this situation, gift giving, isn’t given just to give, but also to receive. And by not receiving, you have one of two scenarios to devise from. See it as a gift regardless,because you place value upon it, or see them as a selfish pig, who has no value in themselves. Either way to me, it creates an air of arrogance, or even self-righteousness. And this couldn’t be any further away from the goal we are wanting to reach, in our own personal enlightenment.

To me all arrows point back to the simplicity of what is all is, of what the universe in its own divine purpose is creating

BALANCE….

I believe everything happens for a reason. Such as in gifting to a person who places no value upon what you are gifting. This to me alone this  is the gift, the experience of who will and who will not appreciate the same things I value.

It is not a matter of blame, getting angry, but to see, what it is you did not see before (this is the gift)Knowing, and understanding the many dynamics of the human heart.

A woman who gifts her body to a man, only to be shown the gift was not received. Will she never gift again? No she will simply choose to give to one who  in the future, is in alignment with the balance she is creating.

And yes sometimes to achieve that balance, we just like children have learning, and unlearning to experience.

The feeling of non-appreciation, so as to appreciate ourselves, and learn what to give, and not to give, dependent upon each person.

Yes I agree that giving in and of itself should be the gift. However, I also believe that in everything we do it should be maintained in balance, as to me this is the universes sole purpose.

I do not gift to those, who I know would place no value upon what I am gifting, unless I have lost all attachment to its worth or importance recognizing in doing so, is again the gift of teaching me detachment. To do otherwise, only creates resentment and disappointment in our interaction with others.

(an example would be, gifting a homeless person, a meal) I have no attachment to this meal, and it is a gift only because I care not if they show appreciation. I am appreciative enough for the experience of being able to do so.

But I ask myself if you gift to another, without a detachment of the worth of a gift, in your own being, is it really a gift, or just a gesture of giving?

I have gifted sessions to clients who was in need, but did not have the money to pay. Some were appreciative, and others in a place of need, saw it as my duty to give, and showed no appreciation. Was it my job to instill this appreciation in them by being angry by their lack of?

No my job was only to give, as I knew how, seeing what I was giving did have value in myself, but recognizing that its gift was no greater than any other gift they had received by being in a place of need

My gift was no bigger or smaller, than anything else, creating balance of everything

Yes it would be a greater gift, a greater satisfactory feeling, of having another validate its worth.

But the validation we seek from others, can be the greatest disappointment in ourselves.

So its safe to say, this discussion showed many dynamics to what we deem as being gifts, and how nothing is ever so black and white.

However without complicating things unnecessarily, we can simply draw conclusions of how to give, and receive, by maintaining the balance in ourselves.

Ask yourself what it is you have learned, and what is you are unlearning?

Our acts of love, are not measured in the gifts we give, but of the love instilled in ourselves, when giving from a place of detachment, and balance. In this we let go self-importance, placing ourselves no more or no less than any other gift given or received, seeing all of an equal accord (restoring everything back to it’ or gin of love)

Much love to all

Misty

The power of saying No!!

I know I do, and many of you do as well, that when we find ourselves in a place of anger for another, it is that we are really angry at ourselves. That many we interact with, are merely just expressions of ourselves in a passing moment.(mirror for us to see who we are from the inside out)

For some of these interactions it is for us to view our anger as deep embedded issues that would continue to take root in us, if there wasnt someone there to excavate them. I look at these moments to bring me clarity. To better understand myself, and to determine what it is teaching me.

The universe in it’s a constant expression verbalizing a message through others to us, helps us to clear away the cob webs of old belief systems to embrace the re-birth of ourselves. We can heed this message by accepting responsibility of what we are infusing, or simply continue to play the blame game.

We all have a choice. That is the beauty and the downfall of free will.

When I teach classes about the art of manifestation, I not only teach about what we create, but also what we un-create. The  universe seeking to be in constant balance weaves a set of energy dynamics to create what it is that we desire, and what we don’t. This so we can live out our lessons, use up our karma to evolve to the next stage feeling more connected, while standing in our truth.

What is our truth? Well this is relative is it not?  Because our truth, just like the universe is in a constant unfolding to reveal the un-truth of who we are, and what we are of how we bear the vulnerability of accepting this.

Our truth that we once lived by can merely be a lie waiting to be exposed and created into something else.

Again this is the beauty, and the ugliness, rolled up in one-act, where suddenly we began to understand what we once was vibrating with, to find that it no longer resonates.. This is one of those Aha moments.. One that can be so riveting, that it takes shape in many forms of our lives creating new energy dynamics in us and around us to build a new existence.

I have often seen this in an attunement of Reiki; the subtle energy at play builds up like a busting volcano. And what once was a happy complacent home suddenly becomes a prison, one in which our spirit wishes to flee from, changing all dynamics of relationships..

I think the hardest part for all of us is to honor this development when it happens and to not cling to our old ways which has brought us security and nurturing. After all I’m sure if we accept enough we can see that even being a slave has its perks as we never have to worry about going hungry, or fending for ourselves.

These are those moments where we have to determine to honor someone elses truth, or our own. Where without even being able to verbalize as words have such limited expression, that it is not a matter of compromise to build a bridge for others, but the bridge that you build in yourself.

Yes we cannot see the acts of others in view of diminishing ourselves. However once accustomed to not being a slave you will not so freely act as one. Meaning that yes we can’t get caught up in insults or demeaning acts of behavior to cause us to question ourselves, but we can however choose not to be a slave.

And we do this by simply making that bold statement of no..

No, it is simply not in me to give of myself in that way. No it is simply not a matter of your feelings, but my own truth in which I must live by. The love for myself

How incredibly difficult it is for us to do this and use this word, because it stirs those innocent moment’s when we were once children being denied of our cookie. Somehow as our parents reiterated the word “No” to us, we felt our own act of discovery and Independence stolen as if we were being bullied by a higher power.

Yet how many times did our parents save our lives by telling us “No” we can’t play in the street, or use a knife, to unscrew the cap off the glue bottle? No it in its natural suggestion, is a means of love. (this is what we need to recognize)

The problem becomes when we don’t say no for fear that by saying it, we wont be loved (fear of not being accepted)

We feel by saying this word no, that we have cut ourselves and others in some way. Just like the way we felt when we were once a child taking orders by the higher command so to speak.

And because we all want to be loved, we refrain from saying no to receive the love from others by “saying yes” Sometimes even at the expense of sacrificing ourselves.

 

By not saying no, we are denying ourselves and others from the truth, and in fact creating a lie.

A lie that gets stuck deep and not knowing how to change it..

This is where it becomes an internal gauge, where we must weigh not only the consequences of others, but the consequences of ourselves, by creating or blocking something that is coming to the surface for purpose to learn our lessons. To let go of the guilt or the shame without placing blame.

This is a hard-line to walk. Not an easy one at all, and we all do our best in it from the current moment we are standing in. .

 

For we must love ourselves, in our ability of being able to say no, as much as we say yes.

And love ourselves enough to have the ability to say no.

We need to only understand our intent of why we would say no

No I don’t want to help you, because it is not in me to give. No I don’t want to spend Thanksgiving with your parents, because secretly they are plotting our break up..  When we look at our intent, and see it from a place of love,then the word no is only an extension of love without guilt.

Why do we become angry, because someone says no?

Why do we become angry by having to say it?

Is it because truly we really know ourselves but when embracing another truth,we see the conflict of our own. Thus creating questions in ourselves, we don’t want to answer.

So really anytime one gets angry by the word No.. It is not so much as they feel denied by someone as much as they don’t want to question themselves of why they are being denied yes.

Keeping this in mind as again we are all mirrors,serving as a reflection to others. It would stand to reason that in saying “no” we are indeed helping another individual grow as well as ourselves in balanced emotion.

Knowing this.. We now see No, as not a block but yet another way to open the flow from the truth in which we speak, and taking actions in this fundamental truth of our being. We are then clear of what it is that we want, and are co-creating with the universe.

So the next time you are moved to say Yes just to appease someone else at the sacrifice of yourself you may want to look at how much you do this.

And then ask yourself the lie you have created in yourself by being untruthful with what you truly want by the portrayal of your actions. It can mean the difference in co-creating the love of your life, the dream job, house, or any other desire you have blocked in your perpetuated lie.

Much love for everyone.  May the truth of your own being always shine forth..

Misty