To go where love grows

I am a person that before making a decision I struggle with, I always ask myself how am I making this decision. Where is the intent of its delivery? I do so because this only leaves room for my own accountable actions, and not blame of anything else. It also serves as a window where me as the I (the ultimate observer being the divine, or spirit is able to look at it with the perspective as a whole and not segregated parts of my being. It is important to me and is apart of my daily spiritual practice that addresses the root of all fear.

Some fear I am aware is acceptable as a means or conditioning to keep me from places that would do me harm.

Where as other fears are just an internal dialog of my own inadequacies or insecurities drenched in doubt.

This gives me the ability to sift through, to know the fear I am not facing, and the fear that is just an illusion.

In the process of sifting, I am able to recount patterns, and pull from various places of time that has served me and has not. Some patterns are simply broken at this time, and others are saved for a later date. I know its only a matter of time before that too breaks free from its cage.

What I have found is that every time my mind struggles to catch up with what my heart already knows, I feel the battle within. I go through these phases of expansion and contraction, where the literal push-pull of myself is the pain I have inflicted to justify the imbalance of what I am feeling. Especially if the very decision I know to make is going to push me into a place of being uncomfortable, without knowing where the next step may lead me. As much as I am a very intuitive individual, I am just as pragmatic. This helps me to adhere to the balance of both worlds, and is a great asset as much as it is a curse. For too often what we know in the heart makes no sense to the world or the mind.

I am also a very passionate being, who speaks freely, and often makes decisions that would take many years to make. What seems like a lifetime to me is a few short minutes to another. It is how I have found myself moving so quickly. Seeing every relationship I have encountered as a karmic dance leading me to the next spiritual lesson. Yet the very lessons I was encountering was showing me how to go where love grows. Where god is. Through my lover, my friends, my clients, my children, my spiritual practice.

All of it in tandem play as a mirror of my relationship with the divine.

I have often said in our questions god stirs. As much as we need to be standing in a place of being in the “Know” not being in the “Know” has just as much value. By not knowing we leave room for god to know. There is a pause, and in this pause god speaks. You can call it breath, or the inhaling of god. But it is there in every moment second of our lives to witness when we as the ultimate power mongers reach a place of no power. The cup that was once full, to be emptied, and full again, through the grace of the divine, or the universal power in its complete expression of love. It gives to us feeds us nourishing our very souls.

What I find to be interesting is that I always have to be affirmed from this power, because as I have been told from many of my fellow brother and sisters, I look too deeply into the perception of others. I have been called a “Crusader” because of this. The one who is not fearful of going into battle to oppose those who would take action from a place without love, hurting another. To stand on top of the fence and not behind it, or with one leg straddling both sides.

My son who I will always say is my greatest teacher has been a mirror to me. He is a child of great love, and because of this love he is often too passionate about his endeavors to the point of being destructive to his own being with his often zealous self-righteous actions. I have watched as he has taken on bully after bully in the neighborhood for a person whom he would call “friend, and have had to console his tears when that very “friend” left him to fend for himself by the very same bullies he defended them from. He cried in my arms screaming the unfairness of the world. How could it be that in his intent of demonstrating love for his fellow brother would be wrong? These are hard lessons for a child, and still better yet even harder for an adult to learn, and to teach.

Often many times when we stand in the position of being the teacher in the intent of love, we are not speaking from a place that is of sound mind, but of sound heart. I heard myself say to my child what spirit or god was also speaking to me. “To go where love grows”

Do not see it as your job, I said to my son to be the one who always fights for others as showing love, and see your efforts as meaningless when that love is not given back.
Know that in your intent of being of love, is the love you are, and that is the love you are being given as well. You can’t be the bull trying to force your way into the heart of someone who does not want to see you or recognize your efforts. And you can’t blame or place judgment on them or yourself by feeling what you have done is wrong through their reaction.

Why did you fight for your friend I asked? Because he is my friend, because I care, and no one should just bully another, my son said. So do you still feel you did wrong, I asked my son. No, he said. Then why is their reaction of what you did make you feel wrong, that you need to judge them as being wrong? If it is your need of wanting to be right, then how can you be coming from a place of love? It is only wrong to you because you do not feel the same love being given back. It’s like planting a flower. Would you plant a flower where the sun does not shine or in sand? No he said. Then don’t plant your flower in the places where you know it is not going to grow, and don’t be angry because there is shade. That shade protects you from too much sun.

So my son learned, as did I.

Even adults I told him have to deal with bullies. We just have different titles for them. Some in their perspective call it government, bosses, corporate america, foreign countries, others our judicial system, religious leaders, and the Joneses.  For me its often the people driving on the road. lol.. Man some drivers really piss me off with their complete disregard and respect for fellow drivers. But that is another story to tell at a later date I am sure..

It is only judgement when our decisions are made from a place of being right and others perceived as wrong. It is love, when we accept that not everyone is going to see the beauty of the seeds we give, because not everyone stands in the same place as we as individuals do in our own journey.

Our job is to go where love grows.

To go where god leads us. The love we feel be it through relationships people, and varying dynamics of our life is the indicators of the many bread crumbs being left on our path to find our way back to the bosom of the divine. To be at the core of our very heart centers growing from this place in the expansion of what god is. The energy of the divine is forever expanding and employs just as any good partner would to expand with it. When we do not expand, flowing where love is, we contract, and through this contraction we feel the shake of our ground. It is the little earthquakes of god delivering its message to us, speaking through every element around us. To lead us back to our hearts and not our minds.

It matters not what we see to be an injustice to the fabric of life. The injustices of the world are the very catalysts that bring awareness to those who do not act from a place of loving themselves and others.

It gives us perspective so that we may practice discernment and not judgement. And to know that through anything we view as being as an injustice is only showing us where the shade is and the sun.

To know where love grows, and where to plant our flowers.

Everything shows us our relationship with god. You cannot say you have lost hope and faith in man, but declare a relationship with the divine. God is man. God is the light within each and every one of us, and the darkness. The shade and the sun. You cannot declare one to be a liar, or deceptive if you have not first looked at the liar within yourself. Have you deceived yourself by an illusion or lie you are living? It is easy to cast blame when we are standing in a place where love does not grow. But it is hard to follow the bread crumbs to the sun, without blaming the shade for taking its place. We get angry by the things that don’t come easy. See our work as more pain we should not have to endure.

We always have to be willing to experiment with our life. By seeing it as an experiment we know that everything is in a constant unraveling of self. Then our lives are not work but play.Just little children playing with the toys god has provided.

We ask ourselves why are there walls everywhere I go. Because that wall is protecting you from where you do not need to be. Love does not grow there, so why would you ask why there is a wall?

To know the injustice or the justice? And that through your very question, your pause is when the divine speaks and often the only way you will listen.

“Go where love grows” See the doors that are opening, and closing. For I am the shade and the sun.

Much love to all

Misty

The art of living in abundance and lack

Recently I ran into an old friend, who after hearing the news of me closing my beautiful metaphysical store, posed the question “Misty you are afraid of success?”

Now of course when hearing this statement, I felt a ripple of heat, a slight ting to my being, and I know anytime I feel the slightest of such sensation, it is because something has penetrated (touched a chord)

This friend has seen many rebirths in my life. They have seen me at my most highest and lowest of times in this roller coaster of life, in a relationship with financial security, and without one, searching for quarters in my couch cushions.

They have seen my struggles, and my triumphs, and from outside perspective, their statement was indeed validated, not only from the words they spoke, but how they spoke them to me, in the sincerest attempt to see some part of myself perhaps missing in the equation.

Wow!! I thought, what if this indeed true? How does this change everything? I looked at the new information, not as an attempt to find anger in it, or to feel i was being judged, but from all perspectives. As i know, that with each piece of information given to us, indirectly, or directly by the will of the universe, comes from those who know us the most. But in saying that I am also aware, that you must look at the author of those words from their own perception, of what they to are living.

Meaning that with everything there has to be a filtering process, to determine what is yours and what is not. So I took it straight to the heart of the matter, literally. Within my heart and within everyone else, is the key that awaits to the un-locking of imperative information for our own personal growth. The voices I have often spoke about, in many of my day-to-day functioning, is the voices of my higher self, guides, angels, god itself, however you wish to define it, and is awaiting for your acknowledgement to communicate.  So with the closing of my eyes, soft music playing in the background, I meditated on this new information, to see what would clearly come up, without putting any of my own agenda, or expectation.

I often hear things in the form of a question to myself, asking me to check myself. (I do this often)

In fact, I think that it is such a huge part of the process of being able to hold two perspectives, when communicating with the larger forces at will, and in your day-to-day functioning with everyone else.

“Misty has your life not been a success in itself? Was the question I heard.

If you were so afraid of success, would you a daughter of a mother who was so lost, not being able to function in life, be able to function? And would you have taken the plunge, betting all your financial security, all of thee above, to open said business, and to once again put your name, your credibility, everything you have become and made of yourself, to just walk away?  To say ok, that was fun, whats next. Does this sound like someone afraid?

Now some of you may or may not be privy to some of my past childhood encounters, and so I share willingly elaborating on this very question in which arises from my own inner voice.

My childhood was a series of emotional, physical and sexual abuse. My mother who had no real direction, or seemed to be one of those poor lost souls born into this world from the beginning, helped in this perpetuation of that “said abuse”

I say abuse lightly, only to illustrate to you, that I have never seen myself to be abused, as abuse the term itself creates a victimization state of mind. And i have never allowed myself to be a victim even as all these events took place.

I never saw myself as being abused, because in the darkness of those events, those moments of identity, and ego destruction, I experienced me, not the experience itself. (god, and all that is sacred)

I have often said, that what should have been the most horrific events in my life, as a vulnerable child, was instead the most beautiful. Because in those moments I touched upon something more than myself. Something that was there to aid me, to say,”it’s going to be ok, Misty,” and all I can say is that it was god. And god was with me, over the years of being molested, as my lost mother served me up on the  platter for any man she encountered in hopes of finding love. Now to be politically correct, or as I am being spiritually willed, more than anything, I must point out that in my statement of god, I do not in any way limit its expression. God being divine, universe, goddess, nature, all that is.

Now this is not to say, that I haven’t experienced emotional set backs with my perseverance of not to be a victim. Indeed I have.. But the fact that I took from those events, and have drawn upon the love of myself and not the destruction, is what gives meaning to a success.

So as I sat in the dimmed lit room, quiet music playing in the background, I heard the voice say to me.

“Misty it is not that you are focused on one level of success, all that is tangible, or to be manifested in the form for all eyes to see, but that you are a success itself, and now your lesson, your path is to learn balance in all successes”

This is a success, we as human beings must learn, as it is not a matter of what we see, in what we create, but how we see ourselves, and in how we feel.

Meaning success takes on many forms. Success in business, relationships, and the success of yourself.

It is not that you are looking for these external events to create that success,(the voice continued) but the internal of how you see yourself living in both lack and abundance. Seeing yourself, as no more, or no less. But a woman who has taken many roads of experiences, which is all a success.

Ask yourself what is lack and abundance?

As it takes just as much energy exerted by the universe to create both lack and abundance. And in each, there is always a balance to maintain in every dynamic of your life.  Gaia herself has demonstrated this, as we see the fury of our strength, in a shock wave of grounds moving, and oceans burrowing its destructive head, drowning everything in its pathway. How one day Gaia blooms the most beautiful of flowers, with the sweet taste of nectar for the bees to feed, and the next swallow all of those flowers whole. (The beautiful wonderful balance)

One could have abundance in material wealth, but have lack in their relationship as a mother, father, brother, sister, or a humanitarian itself. We all learn our lessons for each lacking feeling we have, teaching us humility, and gratitude. And in our abundance, we feel the blessings of knowing what it means to be humble enough to be grateful, for even the most simplest of life’s pleasures.

Quickly I opened my eyes, and felt a renewal within myself, a deeper rich feeling of my own purpose and path.

We have often heard of the old saying ” God does not give us anymore than we can handle”

To me this is the correlation of that word “balance”  For every thing we experience the lack of, there is something more abundant to follow. For as much as we are placed in energy dynamics of pain, we are just as much given the opportunity to open our hearts and love, feeling both the lack and the abundance of it.

Enlightenment, is not how often you meditate, how much you manifest, how much you create, or even how much you love.  Its how you invoke your karmic lessons, without judgement as to what is deemed lack or abundance, either materially, physically and emotionally, on all levels.. In other words if one can look upon a broken arm and not see the difference, of lacking a limb, and say thank you for this lesson, as much as they can look upon a million dollar lottery and say thank you for the lesson, then that is gratefulness

This is the art of living both in abundance and lack. Too see not one any, different from the other. That we must stop beating ourselves up, thinking somehow we have failed, if we do not create more pleasantries, and environments of peace to our own notions.

It became very clear to me how odd of a place i must be standing. From the outside perceptive it could be seen as going backwards, and yet this is so far from the truth.

I like everyone else am learning balance.

So I write this in hopes that everyone out there, who are still stuck in the old paradigms of abundance and lack, can see through it, and really live their lives with what they want to do, versus what they have to do to live in this life.. Abundance and lack are again as with everything, only tools to live our lessons..

Much love to all…

Misty

The Shadow of the Peaceful Warrior

As I contemplated writing this note, questions formed in my mind. How can I present this note in a fashion for many to understand, when the very title of it seems like a contradictory statement.

The shadow of a peaceful warrior, what is that? What does it mean?

Well to me it isn’t contradictory, as the darkness leads to light, so does the shadow of the warrior lead to peace. As the Goddess Durga being the loving protector, but once provoked, without heeding her warnings will surely transform into Kali Ma the destroyer. We, as in everyone, not just women including men,who touch upon their sacred feminine,(the goddess within)often have to use this energy dynamic in our life to make proclamations to the universe(everyone, and everything) the clarity of our feelings.

And when using this particular energy dynamic, we tend to judge ourselves harshly, feeling as if it not a loving gesture. Everything leads us back to love, be it the love of others, the love of ourselves, and the love we accumulate, once in the acceptance of what the universe is willing into action, of what we need to learn.

I think about the movie Braveheart (one my all time faves) secondary to What Dreams May Come. I see William Wallace and the battle ground with weapon in hand, lips taunt, and in the last scene doomed to his death for what he fights for, screaming the words FREEDOM!!!! Not caving for one moment in his convictions, and the courageous strength he had to die for what he believes to represent that freedom, carrying with it such a wave of shock, that even the spectators who are there to taunt him, plead mercy for him.

The “Peaceful Warrior conjures up incredible amounts of strength, that even he or she does not know they possess, in the act of humility and compassion. They fight battles that most, do not know how, but are willing to act upon, as they see the truth of their nobility, fighting for what is right and just in the world.

These peaceful warriors, have had many famous names, such as Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, and Jesus Christ himself. These are the people who have become icons in our world, and they leave with us the imprint of our ability to speak out what we see to be the truth in our own nature, and coherence of the world.

In the new age of spirituality, we have been taught to believe that most to come or manifested, is to come from being peaceful and loving, and yet in the deep embedding of our subconscious mind, we feel that act to be un-true, as if we were grazing cows chewing on a cud.. The internal battle we fight of what is spiritually, and morally correct, sometimes gets us entangled in a web of stickiness, unable to move, or take shape in another form. Constricted by the wanting desire to be seen as good, and loving, we take great lengths to avoid conflict and confrontation,as we have so convinced our self that these are the un-wanted notions of our lives. Yet how much conflict do we create in our lives by taking these huge steps to always be hiding or avoiding the energy dynamics presented for good reason to act upon.

The idea in every spiritual concept is to create heaven with earth, to integrate the two, so that our very world, and individual paradigm becomes this, thus raising our frequency and vibration.

But to do so, to create this ascension, or transformation, we have to ground these forming energies of the higher way of thinking into the world, by taking action. By being the voice that no one wants to hear, by standing firm in our convictions, and creating the wave of change.

It matters not if we can connect into the ethereal world, channeling these energies, if we cannot integrate them or ground them into this world, by the very choices and actions we take.

This is the shadow, and it is upon us as we are all spiritual warriors in our lives, crushing out the invading cell that continues to grow like a cancer killing us of all our dreams desires, and what we know to be fair and just.

The world itself is not a battle, as the only battle raging is within yourself.  All the many times your ideas were taken raped by another being, leaving you to be a victim all in the name or sake of being seen as a good peaceful person.

God, or the universe gives you the tool, as he gave image of a warrior angel Archangel Michael yielding his weapon, mighty sword all in the name of god, love, and purification.

Do not be afraid, all those who are trapped spiraling around in the love and light, confused as your resiliency is being tested. Be the warrior in which you are, to forge a path that is your own, creating love as you do so, for the love of yourself, and the world in which you are creating.. This is the ultimate act of love.. Know thyself to be true..

And the war in which you fight internally will flee from you externally..

much love to all..